Welcome To My Table:

  I am so excited you are choosing to be a part of my growing blog. I am humbled at the interest you have taken in my story, and I pray that through my brokenness you will be able to see where my strength comes from.  I love talking about things that I have passion for, you could say it is the love of my life, and that would be my Lord savior Jesus Christ! For those of you that don't know me my name is Angela I have been called, by God, to be pen my life of how the Gospel of Christ has changed me.  How he has worked in my life helping me over come sins, deaths, condemnation, depression, anxiety, and issues of abandonment and abuse. I could list many more debilitating emotions that I have locked with in me but as my story unfolds you will be able to learn more. The story of my life, the hard parts that are locked inside of me, I now choose to let  run free so that you may know you are not alone in your struggles of this world, and so that satin can no longer keep me held captive through shame. God has walked every had step with me and He is walking it with you. He gave me freedom from shame and he can extend that same grace to you.

 So as I set here at my family table I am inviting you in, as my family, to set down, get your favorite drink, grab a snack and lets talk. If you feel comfortable you can share some of your fears and I will listen with an open heart and be nonjudgmental. If it makes you feel more at ease I will start.

Christ had the anointing of God upon him, and he came to encourage the meek heal the broken hearted and to proclaim freedom to those held captive by sin; open the prison doors and give freedom to all that would fallow him. I believe this with every fiber of my being. I am completely in love with the Lord. I know what it is like to be so broken that you don't think you can breathe and feel the mercies of Christ sweep over you bringing strength and hope to your broken soul. I knw what it is like to feel trapped in hell with no way out only to have the Lord guide me to something more beautiful than I could have imagined. Sadly, I know what it is like to call myself a child of God but yet stumble, fall and sin so badly that the shame and guilt caused me to withdraw from life itself. Shame is one of the most crippling emotion the devil uses to keep us paralyzed preventing us from living freely in the blessing of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus gives power to the weak and to them that have no strength he will strengthen them. (Isaiah 40:29) 

 The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound; (Isa 61:1 KJV)

 

As I set at my family table and look at you, I want you to know what I am feeling, this is hard. I don't open up this easily. My fear is screaming to me in my head "You aren't good enough! You never were and you aren't now!" I have heard this scream of belittlement all of my life. It controls every decision I make and every decision I don't fallow through with. I am paralyzed with the fear of not being good enough. But I am trusting you with my fragile fear right now. I am trusting God for the strength to speak His truth into the pit of worthlessness I am feeling right now. One of my Facebook friends one posted "How do you run from what's in your head" I can only imagine the torture of her thought at that moment. My body hurts for her. Do you feel that way? Have you ever felt that way? I know I have, almost daily. I can feel my mouth getting dry as I try to speak truth over fear. I reach to get my tea to wet my mouth, my hand is shaky, and I am hoping you don't notice. Yes I am scared but this must be done. We have to push through the fear and let the Truth speak life into us. I discovered, Jennie Allen, author of Get Out of You Head has penned it perfectly in her book. Page 214-216 has listed truths from the Word of God that should be spoken over us daily. I highly recommend this book for you.

This is what God says about Himself and you:

I am who I am. Exodus 3:14

I am the beginning and the end. I am the first, and I am the last. Revelations 22:13

I am light; in me there is no darkness at all. 1 John1:5

My hand laid the foundation of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens: when I call them the stand forth together. Isaiah 48:13

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Jeremiah 1:5

I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. John 15:16

I am he who blots out your transgressions. I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25

To all who receive Me, who believe in my name, I give the right to become children of God. John 1:12

Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? 1 Corinthians 3:16

My Spirit is with in you. Ezekiel 36:27

I will not leave you. Deuteronomy 31:8 

I will equip you for every good work I've planned. Hebrews 13:21

I did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I will comfort you as you weight. Isaiah 66:13

 But the Comforter, [which is] the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. {I will remind you this is real} John 14:26

 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown. Revelations 3:11 {I will return}

My steadfast love endures forever. Psalms 25:13

In just a little while...

I am coming and I will take you to a place where I am. Hebrews 10:37; John 14:3

You will inherit the earth. Psalms 25:13

My kingdom is coming.

My will will be done on earth as it is in Heave,. Matthew 6:10

These are God's truths, and they are for me and they are for you. God is sovran and is faithful and just. He is my truth and my anchor when life wants to carry my away in fear.  

Back to the question my friend ask, how do you run from what's in your head?  You can't! but you can change how you think! 

There are a lot of scriptures in this post and each week I will set with you and tell you a little about the thoughts that terrorize me and how they control my actions as well as how these scriptures and more have helped change my thought patterns and my life.

I am an imperfect but forgiven child of God! 

You must read Get Out Of My Head to understand why I am going to end each blog with this declaration.     https://fb.watc.txt If this link does not work go to P31 OBS on FaceBook and watch at the round table on 7/29/2021

FEAR no longer holds power over me!

FEAR no longer holds power over the ones that set with me at my table!

God I ask that you to see the thought of those the one that has decided to set with me today. I know what it is like to be consumed by agonizing thoughts that paralyze me. Lord I pray as we start on this journey together that you will free us from the bondage of satan that we may run freely in your truth and in your blessings. Keep us until we set together again. In Jesus Name I pray AMEN!

[Gen 6:5 KJV] 5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man [was] great in the earth, and [that] every imagination of the thoughts of his heart [was] only evil continually.

 

[Psa 94:11 KJV] 11 The LORD knows the thoughts of man, that they [are] vanity.

 

[Pro 16:3 KJV] 3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

[Isa 55:8 KJV] 8 For my thoughts [are] not your thoughts, neither [are] your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

[Jer 29:11 KJV] 11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

[Luk 24:38 KJV] 38 And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts?

[2Co 10:5 KJV] 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 

[Phl 4:7-8 KJV] 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

[Tit 3:3-7 KJV] 3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, [and] hating one another. 4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, 5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; 6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; 7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 

 

 Air went out!!!! Why Now??? Going to get back up until the new heat/ air system can be put in!!!! Just thankful I will never know how hot hell will be!!!! Thank you Lord for providing a way from finding out and making a way to get a window unit today!!!!

Thank You Lord!!!

I have been locked out of my account for several years now. I had given up hope but was reluctant to start another blog site. I was cleaning out my desk today and found this slip of paper with a  password on it. Racking my brain I could not figure out what it was for. I decided just for fun I would try it and you know what? IT WORKED!!!!!!! I am in and I am so excited!!!!!!! 

I am going to spend some time updating my blog and starting from a new place in life will begin posting on a regular biases. As I start to increase my fallowers I pray you will be faithful and stay tuned in...

This is the day that the Lord has made, be glad and rejoice in it! Psalms 118:24

Much Love and Prayers,

Angela Kay

 

"Eyes are the windows to our soul" so it is said.

Why is it people only see that which they think to be real? Are these eyes angry, sad, happy, or hurt? It would be wrong for us to try and determine what is really being said here without seeing the whole picture.

As children of God we often do that very same thing...look at someone and determine their value and worth not looking at the complete picture. In Genies 1:27 God said he created man in his own image. Did you ever stop and think how powerful those words are? We are created in God's own image...How amazing is that? I tremble at the thought of how special God sees me and yet how little I value myself as his creation.

I have been down on myself because I feel like I have been slacking and not doing enough for the Lord. Ya see I am still placing human thinking in the mind of Christ. I cant begin to comprehend how he perceives me and how he values me as his child. I understand so little when it comes how much God loves me and could send his Son to die for me.

In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells me He know the thoughts that he thinks toward me...thoughts of peace and not evil so I will have an expected end.

He also tells me when I call upon him go and pray to him and he will hear me. How awesome is that? God will take time to listen to a sinner like me that isn't worthy of his love. To God I am worthy and so are you. God is waiting to to shower us with blessings but it is our human way of thinking that hinders our Lord from truly blessing us. In verse 13 he tells me that if I seek him and search for him with all my heart I will find him...this saith the Lord!

I read these verses to my Father over and over as he laid dying in the Hospice house. I felt like my Father was being punished because of his life lived in sin. He gave his heart to the Lord shortly before he went to the Hospice house and I know the Lord was with him but I doubted God reasoning for my Fathers suffering. God showed me these verses so I could read them to my Father, as well as my comfort.

God doesn't want us to give in to our enemies but to be victorious in all walks of life. If we will just seek him with all of our heart every day he will bring us peace even in the midst of a storm.

He gave me peace and comfort as I watched my Father wither away and die. He said to me :I know your Fathers expected end and it is much greater than his life...He will live forever!

I ask you that if you are doubting yourself and God's love for you seek Him...

I will rise when He calls my name!!!! WOW! How powerful. Just knowing that when our Lord calls upon us we will rise and answer the call. When I first hear Chris Tomlin's song "I will Rise" I was in the parking lot at the park. I had just spent three days with my Dad at the hospital, being told by Doctors he was not going to live. My Mother had just passed away three and a half months before.
My first thought was my Dad will rise when God calls his name and there was nothing anyone could do to change that. Why would I want to prevent him from going to heaven? He had suffered a long time and his heart broke when he lost Mom.
After alot of crying and praying, still being selfish, I realised that this didn't just mean the only time God would call us would be to come to heaven. He calls upon us to do many things and we take this very lightly at times. He was calling me to stand in faith and continue on through the most difficult times I have ever gone through. He was calling me to rise and lean on him trusting in him and allowing him to guide me even though I did not want to go on. I still had a life to live for the Lord and he was calling on me to step up and allow him to be seen on my life.
I see the signs of age creeping up on this mortal body and it scares me how little time I have left to minister unto my family. My hands show signs of wrinkling as well as thinner appearance to my skin. I remember the first time I noticed my Mothers hands looking this was...I didn't want to believe she was getting older and her days running shorter.
Her life was filled with struggle and heart break but she stood firm on the word of God and trusted in his promises and each time she was called she rose to meat the challenge. That is what she taught me...With Christ all things are possible.
What is Christ calling you to do? Will you rise to the call while here on earth?
Seek his presence now while the day is still called today for tomorrow may never come.
Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken. ( Proverbs 3:25,26)

Just a prayer for today...

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for this day and the beauty that surrounds me. You have helped me in so many ways and yet I still fill unworthy. I am grateful you love me in the capacity that you do and that you will always be there lifting me up when I am in need of help. I have a specific request today for one of my children. You know the need in his life and how he is struggling to handle this great grief in his life. Loosing one grand parent is hard but loosing two with in three months is extremely hard. I pray you help him through his grief and allow him a healthy way to heal. Guide him in the choices he needs to make in life and strengthen me with the ability I need to speak wisdom to heal his broken heart. Thank you for your love and grace upon my life. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

I must say the past month has flown by and I haven't accomplished much of anything. Several months ago I read a quote in a book by Angela Thomas. It said that if the Devil cant make you bad then he will make you busy. How true that is. I have neglected many things to do what I "thought" was important.
I wont go into all of the details but I have taken in a young mother and her two children. Their ages are 3 years and the the girl is 4 weeks. This has added much stress to my home that consisted of my husband, three of my boys and one daughter in law plus myself. I have been working three jobs as well as cooking and making sure the house operates as normal as possible. The Devil sure did make me busy!
So I set here and whonder what is next...I must sow down ! For it is when we get still that we can hear the small still voice of the Lord that directs us and guides us. I have failed to be still and listen.
What has been placed in you ;ife that has kept you too busy to hear the still snall voice of the Lord? When you wake up it will be a new day...A new day for a new start. Today is the day to say Lord forgive me for becoming to busy please allow me to see what needs to be oliminated from my daily life so that I can hear you voice clearer.
A New Day! A New Way of Living For The Lord.