I have been asking myself some hard questions lately. I haven’t been able to find the right answer so when that happens I start to write. It seems that God reveals more to me in my writing than any other time.
I started a second job about four weeks ago and now I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. I only have two of my five children at home with me now and one is 20 and the other one is 17. Then there is my husband, who is 3, and I. My husband seems to be more needed now than when we had all five children at home. It could be I just notice it now and he was non existent to me when I was raising the children. He helped out “ZERO” with raising the children so you can understand that when the time came and I found myself with free time I enjoyed it. I love to write so I would find myself reading the word and writing a lot. Now I don’t have that luxury and I am missing it.
I struggle with getting some king of organization going on in my life. I know if I was able to do it with all of my children at home I should be able to do it now. I just can’t seem to get it together. So I ask myself why I was working two jobs and I really couldn’t come up with a good answer except to pay for my horse habit. Now that I have an extra job I have less time for my horses. So I am not gaining anything. I ask my husband yesterday if I was neglecting the family by working both jobs and to my surprise he said no. He has always been selfish with his money and the more I contribute the less he has to, so I figured that is why he responded the way he did.
I ask why I could not be content with what I had. Why I had to go searching for more? That is what I have trouble finding an answer for. Why do I do it?
Deep down I know I am not greedy and I don’t desire more. I just want to take care of what I have and use it for God’s glory. I don’t like not having as much free time as I did but I feel God placed this job in my lap. I haven’t groomed dogs in over eight years and I had no plans to do so. A new pet store opened up about 5 minutes from my house. They were in need of groomers badly. My son’s girlfriend went to work down there and she was telling everybody about me. The manager called for two weeks trying to get me to put in my application. So finally I filled it out with no intention of being hired. They called me in to do a technical on Thursday and sent me to have a drug test done and I went to work the fallowing Thursday. My life seems like it has been spinning out of control ever since. I have missed one Sunday service and one Wed. night service because of work and I never intended for this job to interfere with anything. Now I am wondering why I do it.
The only thing I can think of is that God knew with so much idle time on my hands I might be tempted and fall into sin. He keeps placing Titus 2 in my head. The Aged Woman…
2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
2:7 In all things showing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
2:8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
2:9 Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;
When we work for others we are in essence a “servant” to that company and the Managers. There are a lot of young women that work there and they have a “religion belief” but they are not saved according to what God says needs to be present in our life to be a Child of his. So was I placed there to be this aged woman? I have already been an influence to one young lady and she is moving her horse to where mine is. So we will be riding a lot together and I will be able to witness to her. So is this why I am there? I don’t know.
My manager worked at the same school I work for and she is a Christian. Id she feel all alone working there among so many unsaved that she felt she needed another Christian woman to come along beside her to encourager her in her struggles? I do not know. Maybe it was to teach be better time management and how to be that Titus 2 woman. What ever the reason this job was placed in my lap so freely I just want to honor God in what I do and not let Satan sneak his way in and devour my life and I not see it coming. The only thing I know to do is…
Proverbs 3:5-6Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Dear Heavenly Father I am trusting in you to direct my path even when I can not see where to take a step. I just need you to place in me a spirit of contentment and peace. Knowing that you are in control and you have my best interest at heart you will not let me be overtaken by Satan. I pray I have made a decision that will bring honor to you and I will not disappoint you. I pray I can exhibit the traits of this Titus Woman. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen
Monday, May 12, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Reflections
I have spent a few days digesting everything I saw, heard, and experienced this past weekend at the Extraordinary Women’s Conference. There are some moments that occur in our lives that, if we are not careful, we will allow to pass us by not recognizing there significance in our lives. I did not want this to be one of those moments.
I had been in my seat about ten or twenty minutes before I realized how many women were there and that we ad all come together for one purpose…to praise and worship God. How awesome is that? When the opening events began, so did my tears and they flowed through out most of the night.
As I stood and looked around me hundreds of women had their hands raised praising God. Tears also flowed down their cheeks. The denominational preference did not matter; there were no barriers, just women seeking a closer relationship with their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
There was a verse that was used throughout the weekend.
Jeremiah 29:11 (King James Version)
29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
29:12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
How awesome is it that our God thinks thoughts of peace toward us? When we fall and sin he doesn’t think evil against us but peace and love. God is promising he will bring us home. If we know him we know what to expect in the end…to go home! How wonderful that sounds! The older I get the more I long for home. My heavenly home.
I know if I seek him with all of my heart I will find him. He will not see the damaged goods of my life but he will see the beauty he created me to be.
I must step out in faith and seek him with all of my heart. I have allowed fear to lie dormant with in my heart and that fear has prevented me from showing “unleashed worship” and service for my Lord.
This weekend was about exposing that fear and standing on the promises of God. He will never forsake me nor leave me alone. I have started the journey to remove any barriers in my life that will hinder me in my unleashed worship. Let me say it will be God that removes the barriers because they are so big I can’t utter a word about them to anyone but with the Lords love and grace and my heart desiring to please him, God will tear down those barriers of fear that hinder me.
I know my expected end…Heaven. Do you know your expected end? What barriers hinder you from possessing “unleashed worship?
Dear Heavenly Father I thank you for this day and the opportunities you placed in my life to praise you and speak of your goodness. In our daily lives we allow Satan to deplete us of our self worth and break us down. So today I am asking that you replenish the hearts and should of my sister in Christ and allow them to experience unleashed worship. You are so awesome and we do not understand why you love us in the manner that you do; But I thank you for it. This world beats us down and we forget how precious we are to you. So on this day touch the hearts of my sister and allow them to feel your love and replenish them from where the world has depleted their self-worth. Thank you Dear Lord for the peace you have blessed my life with and thank you for the ever sweet love you pour out on us. Help us break down the barriers that hinder our relationship with you. Allow us to feel how special we are in your heart. Walk by our sides and place good spiritual mentors in our lives to speak your truth to us. We love you Lord, We love You. In Jesus sweet name I pray Amen.
I had been in my seat about ten or twenty minutes before I realized how many women were there and that we ad all come together for one purpose…to praise and worship God. How awesome is that? When the opening events began, so did my tears and they flowed through out most of the night.
As I stood and looked around me hundreds of women had their hands raised praising God. Tears also flowed down their cheeks. The denominational preference did not matter; there were no barriers, just women seeking a closer relationship with their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
There was a verse that was used throughout the weekend.
Jeremiah 29:11 (King James Version)
29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
29:12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
How awesome is it that our God thinks thoughts of peace toward us? When we fall and sin he doesn’t think evil against us but peace and love. God is promising he will bring us home. If we know him we know what to expect in the end…to go home! How wonderful that sounds! The older I get the more I long for home. My heavenly home.
I know if I seek him with all of my heart I will find him. He will not see the damaged goods of my life but he will see the beauty he created me to be.
I must step out in faith and seek him with all of my heart. I have allowed fear to lie dormant with in my heart and that fear has prevented me from showing “unleashed worship” and service for my Lord.
This weekend was about exposing that fear and standing on the promises of God. He will never forsake me nor leave me alone. I have started the journey to remove any barriers in my life that will hinder me in my unleashed worship. Let me say it will be God that removes the barriers because they are so big I can’t utter a word about them to anyone but with the Lords love and grace and my heart desiring to please him, God will tear down those barriers of fear that hinder me.
I know my expected end…Heaven. Do you know your expected end? What barriers hinder you from possessing “unleashed worship?
Dear Heavenly Father I thank you for this day and the opportunities you placed in my life to praise you and speak of your goodness. In our daily lives we allow Satan to deplete us of our self worth and break us down. So today I am asking that you replenish the hearts and should of my sister in Christ and allow them to experience unleashed worship. You are so awesome and we do not understand why you love us in the manner that you do; But I thank you for it. This world beats us down and we forget how precious we are to you. So on this day touch the hearts of my sister and allow them to feel your love and replenish them from where the world has depleted their self-worth. Thank you Dear Lord for the peace you have blessed my life with and thank you for the ever sweet love you pour out on us. Help us break down the barriers that hinder our relationship with you. Allow us to feel how special we are in your heart. Walk by our sides and place good spiritual mentors in our lives to speak your truth to us. We love you Lord, We love You. In Jesus sweet name I pray Amen.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
I'm so Hyper in the Lord
WOW!!!! What a weekend I am having. I have just spent the past two days attending the Extraordinary Women's Conference. I have been BLESSED!!!! Thelma Wells...aka Momma T. What a Blessing from God she is. Out of all of the speakers she was the one God placed me there to hear.
How else could a little black girl born in Dallas so many years ago end up in East Tennessee and here life have many similarities to mine? God is so awesome. Then there was Chonda Pierce who makes suffering from depression a ministering tool. She touched so many hearts. There is just so much to talk about but so little time. I just wanted to say I serve an AWESOME God. With every passing day he reveals a little more to me and directs another one of my steps. I LOVE the LORD !!!!!!!!
I pray each of you has an awesome day in the Lord.
How else could a little black girl born in Dallas so many years ago end up in East Tennessee and here life have many similarities to mine? God is so awesome. Then there was Chonda Pierce who makes suffering from depression a ministering tool. She touched so many hearts. There is just so much to talk about but so little time. I just wanted to say I serve an AWESOME God. With every passing day he reveals a little more to me and directs another one of my steps. I LOVE the LORD !!!!!!!!
I pray each of you has an awesome day in the Lord.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
A God Moment In Something Horrible
As most of you know the drought in this area has alot of farmers and horse people running scared over hay. I had stocked up early and had no worries, so I thought. We had a storm a couple weeks ago and a limb had fallen on my hay. I had taken every precaution to keep my hay covered. I tarpped it and made sure there was sufficient air flow...However this limb, ever so small, poked a small hole in my tarp, which I was unaware of.
I went to move my hay to the barn and discovered I had lost the top two ricks of my hay, about 50 - 75 bales. As I was standing on top of this black hay pilling layer by layer off to reach the good stuff and salvage what I could, I had a God moment.
I was angry at first while I was pulling all of that dirty hay off of the top of my stack. But my anger turned into peace. When we sin, even the slightest "small" sin can leave our soul open to become rotten and black. If we are not careful that one little sin becomes two, then three, then so much that we can not see who we were and how in danger we are of loosing our soul to sin.
But we have one who gave his life for that sin...Jesus Christ. He comes in with his love, mercy, and grace and even thought he is sick and frustrated with us because we allowed this sin into our lives, he carefully pulls away layer by layer of all the black sin that creeps into our soul, by means of just one "little" sin, until he sees the good and he lovingly removes us from the area where we became infested with sin and places us in a better place to keep us free from blackening our soul again.
He has removed me many of times from jobs, houses, churches, and every place he has moved me to I have became a better and stronger Christian and have been more effective at ministering to others. I have become a stronger member of His body.
So if you are facing a job loss, or a move, or even feel like you need to change Churches seek God in prayer and willfully obey him for you might just have that "small" sin in your life that will consume your soul and Jesus did not give his life so that our soul would be snatched away by Satan. But he gave his live so that through him ALL may be saved from the clutches of Satan. How many people do you know that would truly lay down their life for you??? I know of none but Jesus Christ!!!!!!
For any of you that are facing a life changing situation stop and ask the Lord what he wants you to gain from this experience so that you will grow as a Christian and be better equipped to serve him. It isn't about us but about honoring and glorifying our creator and serving him not ourselves.
What black layers are in your life that Jesus is trying to peel off?
Psalms 51:1 (King James Version)
51:1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
51:2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
51:7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
51:11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
I know I have some and I am so thankful that the Lord is still working on me because he sees the good that lies with in and refuses to allow me to throw my salvation away. He created me with a purpose in mind and I have to stand for Him and take the steps necessary to fulfill his will for my life. Do you know how awesome it is to know that God created you with a purpose in mind? He desires you to seek him so that he can guide you and prepare you for that job in his body that you were created to do. Do you know how excited I get when I think that God created me with love and a desire in His heart to bless me with eternal life? It is I that messes things up not God. If I would listen to him and follow his direction for my life I would be the most blessed person on this earth and so would you. We are not perfect and God knows that. That is why Jesus had to suffer to save us. But we do have the option of living by his word or allowing that "little" sin to creep in.
Thank you Dear Heavenly Father for your love and patience with me. I ask for a special blessing on anyone who decides to read this. What ever their life situation is I ask you to please be merciful with them and in your loving way guide them to where you would have them to be and remove any black sin from their life so the beauty that you created can shine through for your glory. In Jesus name I pray Amen
God loves each of you...He created you. I will keep praying for those who read this. I ask you to seek God your creator for His will for your life. Allow Jesus to clean up your soul and let that which is good shine through. LOL
I went to move my hay to the barn and discovered I had lost the top two ricks of my hay, about 50 - 75 bales. As I was standing on top of this black hay pilling layer by layer off to reach the good stuff and salvage what I could, I had a God moment.
I was angry at first while I was pulling all of that dirty hay off of the top of my stack. But my anger turned into peace. When we sin, even the slightest "small" sin can leave our soul open to become rotten and black. If we are not careful that one little sin becomes two, then three, then so much that we can not see who we were and how in danger we are of loosing our soul to sin.
But we have one who gave his life for that sin...Jesus Christ. He comes in with his love, mercy, and grace and even thought he is sick and frustrated with us because we allowed this sin into our lives, he carefully pulls away layer by layer of all the black sin that creeps into our soul, by means of just one "little" sin, until he sees the good and he lovingly removes us from the area where we became infested with sin and places us in a better place to keep us free from blackening our soul again.
He has removed me many of times from jobs, houses, churches, and every place he has moved me to I have became a better and stronger Christian and have been more effective at ministering to others. I have become a stronger member of His body.
So if you are facing a job loss, or a move, or even feel like you need to change Churches seek God in prayer and willfully obey him for you might just have that "small" sin in your life that will consume your soul and Jesus did not give his life so that our soul would be snatched away by Satan. But he gave his live so that through him ALL may be saved from the clutches of Satan. How many people do you know that would truly lay down their life for you??? I know of none but Jesus Christ!!!!!!
For any of you that are facing a life changing situation stop and ask the Lord what he wants you to gain from this experience so that you will grow as a Christian and be better equipped to serve him. It isn't about us but about honoring and glorifying our creator and serving him not ourselves.
What black layers are in your life that Jesus is trying to peel off?
Psalms 51:1 (King James Version)
51:1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
51:2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
51:7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
51:11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
I know I have some and I am so thankful that the Lord is still working on me because he sees the good that lies with in and refuses to allow me to throw my salvation away. He created me with a purpose in mind and I have to stand for Him and take the steps necessary to fulfill his will for my life. Do you know how awesome it is to know that God created you with a purpose in mind? He desires you to seek him so that he can guide you and prepare you for that job in his body that you were created to do. Do you know how excited I get when I think that God created me with love and a desire in His heart to bless me with eternal life? It is I that messes things up not God. If I would listen to him and follow his direction for my life I would be the most blessed person on this earth and so would you. We are not perfect and God knows that. That is why Jesus had to suffer to save us. But we do have the option of living by his word or allowing that "little" sin to creep in.
Thank you Dear Heavenly Father for your love and patience with me. I ask for a special blessing on anyone who decides to read this. What ever their life situation is I ask you to please be merciful with them and in your loving way guide them to where you would have them to be and remove any black sin from their life so the beauty that you created can shine through for your glory. In Jesus name I pray Amen
God loves each of you...He created you. I will keep praying for those who read this. I ask you to seek God your creator for His will for your life. Allow Jesus to clean up your soul and let that which is good shine through. LOL
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