My heart breaks every time I look at this picture…This is my Dad holding onto my hand on Easter Sunday not wanting me to leave him. I sat with him for hours but it wasn’t long enough… Oh how I wish I could hold his hand again. My heart breaks…
Dad had been in a nursing home for a few years. He had dementia and had started wondering while I was at work and the doctors said he would be safer if I placed him in a secure facility. I wish I had never had to put him in the Nursing Home. The neglect of proper care from the nursing home was the biggest factor that contributed to my Father being placed in the hospital then eventually the Hospice House.
Dad left the family when I was about 4 or 5 and lived his life in sin. So by his fruits it was evident he was not saved. Not long after I was married he came to live with me and my family. When he went into the hospital in March I ask God for one more chance with him. I didn’t want him to die and go to hell. The Lord granted me that prayer request. So for the next three weeks I would pray with him before I left the Nursing Home. Three weeks later I received the call he was in the ER at 3 a.m. on the Monday after Easter and my heart just about leaped out of my chest. I wasn’t sure and I hadn’t ask my Dad if he had ask the Lord to forgive him. I rushed out to the ER to find Dad in worse condition than the first time. I let him know I was there and held his hand. The only way he could communicate was squeeze my hand or raise his eyebrows. So holding his hand I ask the question I had put off… “Dad if anything happened to you would you go to Heaven? He squeezed my hand for a yes but I wasn’t at peace. So I ask him if he had ask the Lord to forgive him of his sins and be his Savior…NOTHING! No hand squeeze and my heart sunk. So I told him it was never to late and told him I was going to pray with him. I don’t have a clue as to what words came from my mouth but somewhere during that prayer he took both his hands and held onto mine and a sweet peace came over the room. I looked at my Dad and tears were rolling down the side of his face. I knew he was in the Lords hands and I told the Lord “I can let him go now”.
He spent over a week at the hospital and then I had to make the decision to go to hospice house.
As I sat with Dad in the Hospice House I would read to him every day from the Bible and sing the praises of the Lord. It was a long two weeks and I watched Dad’s body literally fall apart. The flesh hung from the inside of his mouth. You could smell the flesh as it rotted. No one knew why he had such a strong desire to live, they seem to think it was because of me. Every time Dad would hear me his vitals would improve. I talked almost nonstop and I only left him three times, so he had to listen to me talk a lot. It is nice to have someone listen and not interrupt you. J
As hard as my earthly Father fought to stay with me how had do you think our Heavenly Father fought to keep us from hell? He sent his Son to die for us so that we may spend eternity with him. As much as my earthly Father loved me my Heavenly Father loves me far greater…He created me, I am his!
Growing up I never had an earthly Father to tell me how special I was and that I was loved. All my life I searched for that love and never found it until my Heavenly Father showed me.
I John 4:10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
God created us out of love and we are his. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
29:12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
29:14 And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: The Lord has nothing but love for us and thoughts of peace. He has comforted me in my darkest times and has brought me out of the darkest pits of sin. He holds me up in his right hand; he is my strength and one day I will walk in the land of the living with my earthly father and my Heavenly Father for eternity.
This scripture was what I read to my Father several times throught out the day and at his funeral.
Psalms 116:1 I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.
116:2 Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.
116:3 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.
116:4 Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
116:5 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.
116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
116:7 Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.
116:8 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.
116:9 I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.